And now, here’s what I want you to do: Tell the truth, when you speak. Do the right thing by one another, both personally and in your courts. Don’t cook up plans to take unfair advantage of others. Don’t do or say what isn’t so. I hate all that stuff. Keep your lives simple and honest.” Decree of God. Zechariah 8:15-17 The Message
How is your most intimate relationship doing? Do you need to have a conversation? Do you need to tell the truth to someone? If so, remember this: The Holy Spirit works through truth. Although speaking the truth can be difficult, truth, spoken in love, will have an impact in God’s Kingdom.
Example of truth by letter followed by conversation:
I am writing this letter because, for me, it is sometimes easier to write then to speak. Let me start by saying I am your biggest fan. I love you more than anyone, except God. Nothing I say here is a criticism. I am only trying to address my struggling and our relationship because I want it to be the best it can be. I don’t want to argue, I want to discuss and brainstorm with you.
I know you need time to process these types of conversations. So, I thought it might be good to think about these things ahead of discussing them in person. When we are both ready (meaning within the next week) can we set a time to speak – preferably when we are not tired, preoccupied or grumpy.
I am struggling and have tried to figure out why. I have prayed and sat with God looking for His wisdom not my own. I think He has provided me with some. So here is what the major issues are:
- I need your companionship. We are in a new place in life – I want to go do stuff with you when you are not tired or preoccupied. Thanksgiving/Christmas was difficult – I missed you being here (or your involvement or your joy or _____________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________________________.) I need to be with you mentally – I need to know we are in the same “book”, not necessarily in the same chapter but at least in the same book.
- Spiritual Connectedness. So speaking about being in the same book, I feel like we are not spiritually together most of the time. Knowing and loving God is my top priority. You and my family are my second priority. I hope God is also your first priority ahead of me – if He is not then we have a problem. The problem is that we then don’t view life in the same way – what we want to do and where we want to go and what we want to spend money on is not in sync with each other.
- I need your help with our finances. We are blessed – truly blessed but I am under extreme pressure to make it all work. I don’t want to be in charge of all this. Can we talk about _____________ ________________________. All this stuff I need help with. We need to do this together.
- My work and your work. Our work schedules don’t compliment each other. We need to coordinate that together. _____________________ _______________________________ _______________________________. These are important to me. We need us to figure this out together.
In order for me to feel connected to you, we need to have a mature adult on- going loving conversation about these issues. When I am connected to you, I enjoy our relationship. I will never stop loving you. I want you to succeed. I want us to succeed. It is my top priority besides following Jesus.
I love you.